Sunday, August 22, 2010

Fear of Change

Fear of Change by Kathy Atkinson

“Don’t make me change!” I heard from the voice inside my head. “You won’t like it!” Don’t even go there!”

Wow, I hit a nerve inside myself that triggered a backlash of resistance on an issue that wasn’t even that big…so I thought.

What was it that unleashed this intense hostility?

I was merely exploring the statement “I am not a morning person.” I was curious to know if it was really my nature or just a limiting belief that I have adopted and perpetuated for years. No big deal, right?

Apparently a huge deal! Part of me has become accustomed to sleeping in. Part of me likes to be left alone in the morning. And that part of me was not interested in exploring whether it is just my nature or just a way I have learned to control my morning routine.

Guessing from my reaction, I apparently decided long ago to use this tactic to keep my parents off my case in the morning and I was still using it today with my husband! (He pops out of bed in the morning raring to go. I, on the contrary, like to ease into my day.) My intense reaction was triggered by my fear of change. Part of me wanted no part of changing.

It is always amazing to me what people will put up with because of their fear of change, and here I was irrationally afraid of possibly having to drop my limiting belief and become a “morning person”. Too funny!

Well, I did some EFT tapping on my fear of change and released a majority of the resistance, so I could at least explore the issue. Then I did a visualization where I imagined myself as my typical “not a morning person” self and created an image of what I would look like as an “all day person” (I didn’t want to limit myself to just a morning person).

Wow, the images were so different. My “I’m not a morning person” image looked tired, head down, slumped shoulders, bathrobe open and dragging, and carrying a look on her face that said, “don’t bother me”. My “all day person” looked energized, vibrant, alive, fit, trim, and raring to go with her head up and a smile on her face.

What a difference! I really wanted to be that energized person, so I decide to mentally send my “I am not a morning person” self to a spa where she could hang out and sleep in every day to her hearts content.

I then gave myself permission to try on being an “all day person”. I certainly was ready to feel more alive and energized in the morning. I was tired of pushing against my husband’s morning exuberance and giving him the “get out of my face” look. I still felt some resistance to changing, so I had to do some more tapping to release my fear of changing and open myself up to the possibility that I was limiting myself and it wasn’t just my nature.

So far, adopting the new belief that I am an “all day person” has worked out to my advantage. I am not as irritated in the morning when I encounter my husband and I do feel more energized.

When I feel my old “I am not a morning person” self pops up, I politely remind her she has been replaced and she can live at the spa, and just relax and sleep in as much as she wants. Very cool and very freeing!

I have discovered this tactic works well for other parts of me. Rather than push against a part of me or try to release it, I tap on the fear of change and I then give that part of me permission to do whatever it wants, but in a different realm.

Mentally, I have given the part of me that likes to eat sweets and treats permission to hang out at the bakery, donut shop and candy shop. I have given her permission to eat whatever she wants, whenever she wants it. Voila, no more cravings for sweets and treats. No more feeling deprived. Whenever I think about eating something sweet, I remind myself that I already have a part of me that is eating that stuff all day, everyday.

I was prompted to make this change because, as much as I like sweets, I tend to get a sugar hang-over, so the sweet might taste good in the moment, but then I would pay for it later on. I haven’t totally given up sweets. I still love fresh fruit pie, but I notice that when I eat something sweet now, it is no longer that appealing and I typically put it down after a few bits. Interesting!

Action Challenge

“The key to change... is to let go of fear.” Rosanne Cash

Whenever you are trying to change anything about yourself, always begin by doing some meridian tapping on your fear of change. We all have unconscious parts of us that like to preserve the status quo.

A few rounds of tapping may be all it takes, but typically the bigger the change, the more resistance you will encounter.

Identify your resistance by asking yourself: “I want this change, but….” Make a list of everything that comes up after the “but”. The longer the list, the more resistance you have to clear out.

Before you begin tapping for your fear of change, measure the intensity of the resistance you are experiencing on a scale from 0-10. This number will help you determine whether your level of fear is going up, down or staying the same. Re-check your intensity after each round of tapping.

Change should be easier for you once you address any fears you have around changing.

If you are not sure what to say during your tapping sessions, I have a new EFT script and audio available for the Fear of Change that will help you get started.

1 comment:

Dene said...

Great post.. fear of change is one of the things that I personally deal with in my daily life. EFT has helped me tremendously. Thanks for the great post and script.